How To Develop A Growth Mindset with Rob Felder

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Welcome to the Real Authority show. I'm your host Rick Harrison and every week with the help of thought leaders and authorities in just about every industry will explore The Human Experience to show you how to take your life to the next level and live with purpose whether it's mastering your body and mind Building Wealth and relationships or making overwhelming task symbol. There's something for everyone and you won't believe how close you already are to achieving that next level. It's.

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On the other side of the river for the show.

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Welcome back everyone to another episode of the real Authority show. I'm your host Rick Harrison. And this week. I'm going to be starting a brand new mini series on health and wellness and I'm joined by my good friend and former Collegiate teammate. Rob Felder who works up in Connecticut and is a motivational speaker International internationally-known trainer and I'm not going to do the introduction. I'm gonna let some of his stuff do the introduction Forum, but I get you know, I get it.

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Hitters every time I watch this video, so enjoy.

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My head hurts. My body is happy but when I got in the car I said, so what he said wait, this is me sick.

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Want to take a look dirty. I want to take you on a little journey. How many of you in all honesty to look at yourself in the mirror and say you know what? I don't give you my all.

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In my mind and in my heart, as long as I have to work hard and I got to see I was winning when you accept average in your life you get average results.

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So I don't know about you, but I love that kind of stuff. I listened to stuff like that every morning and you know that kind of gets my day started and I'd like to welcome Rob Felder on the show. He has a company up in Connecticut Felder works out of bridge bridge job, Bridgeport, Connecticut, and you know, he's been working with people from all over the world and well, you know, I'll let him him introduce himself as well. So welcome to the show.

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Hey listen, you know, it's always awesome to be on the show with uh break again.

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Before I say anything about myself, I just want to tell you this is awesome had the opportunity to really watch what you do pay attention to how you not only walk along with how you maneuver through different Avenues and make things work. And that's one thing that is awesome at all points and times is when you see someone be flexible not just with the work that other people give them.

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But the work that they want to do themselves, so, you know that is that is awesome. And that's why getting the opportunity to be on the show with you is it was a blessing unto itself? And for those I tell folks a lot of times. I don't usually talk too much about myself. So I just keep it real simple and I say listen, I'm a dad. I'm a husband and I'm a business owner and and I'll talk a whole lot of trash regardless if it's Sports regardless of what it may be.

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And I back it up. So so at all points in time. My my job is really to continue to not just push myself for push those who are around me. So thank you for having me on yeah, absolutely. And you know, like I said, we're starting a little mini series here of health and wellness. And personally, I'm sure you feel the same way. And I know a lot of people feel the same way. I think mindset is one of the most important things and that's where really everything else starts. So I'm really happy to have you on the show because.

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I know that's your thing. And I remember we were playing football. You were Captain. I mean your speeches before the games after the games are always intense. I loved it. So I'm really happy to have you here and you know, one of the things that a lot of entrepreneurs and a lot of really successful people do is they have a morning routine in the morning that they kind of go through. I have one myself, but you know, what's yours? Like, what do you have a routine? And what's it like.

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So so for me is the first thing is being blessed to get up in the morning, right? Um, sometimes we can get so caught up with what else is to come.

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That what we don't pay attention to as what we've already received, right? And that first thing that we receive is the ability to get up in them.

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Right. So being the mindset of being thankful for what you have is key. So the first thing I'm doing is I'm counting my blessings. I'm excited to be able to get up in the morning. And then from there as of late. There's I'm fasting. Okay. So now I'm in a situation where only thing I'm drinking is water and certain times. I am more or less taken on the opportunity of.

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Practicing my breathing really because as a speaker and as a trainer something that can really hinder what you do is how you hold your breath in and out of transition from words two words. So on top of the breathing is also the meditation and I won't lie to you. I have the tree I had to make another transition from meditating at night to meditate in the morning because if I meditate at night, I'm going to sleep and it was like it was consistent. I could not find a way.

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A to stay up. So so trying to find the best way to go about that. So first thing is getting up being thankful that I'm that I've been blessed to get up and then from there being able to turn around and start to meditate and focus on my breathing and then realtor out what my day should look like. So if I didn't plan out certain pieces now, I'm adjusting and saying what am I going to do today based upon new things that I've learned and it's not.

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It I completely scrapped my schedule or what I ultimately end up doing is paying attention to what's happening in the world and seeing how those things impact what I do and then from there course adjusting if I need to and then pushing forward because what I want to be upfront with you what I'm trying to do and what I work on by doing that is making sure that life doesn't knock you off course because a lot of times worse.

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So I'll be fine. I'm not concerned about what's happening in the world. And then you step outside in the volcano has erupted outside your house like it could be something strange like so so at all points in time at least making sure that I understand what's happening and I'm not saying I have to consume the latest gossip, but being able to understand what's happening in the world that might pertain to me is key, right? Yeah. Yeah, it's hard, you know, especially with all the stuff going on lately in the last year. So it's it's easy to want to just.

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You know stay in your own little bubble block everything else out TV off put yep. There is a lot of things that can you know.

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Pull us they can they can impact their lives and it's good to know about. It is good to stay up stay up with the times and things that are happening so that we understand that.

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Yeah, definitely. So, you know mindset is obviously a Hot Topic. It's definitely grown over the last several years even more than it has been in the last decade. But I guess when it comes down to mindset everybody says it they talk about it, but when you get right down to it, I mean, what's your opinion? What is what is mindset? What is a growth mindset or a success mindset? Yeah. So so first is being able to recognize and acknowledge that there is a such thing as a growth mindset, right?

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And having that as your foundation and understanding what that truly means for you being able to say hey, wherever I am at this point in time, I can always get better. Like I can always do something different. I can always grow which is always key to someone who's looking to be successful, especially someone who's looking to be an entrepreneur or someone who's looking to consistently achieve at levels that maybe.

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They've never seen before in their life or in their family's tree to bring that full circle my the video that you played it's really about the concept of never average and if folks were to look up anything outside of Felder works because felda works is one piece and then they never average is the other where felda works is focused on training and development.

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In C and how we can take people from let's say more or less the theory of something to actually putting things into practice. So whether that's diversity inclusion, whether that's coaching whether that's leadership, whether that's that's team building whether that's putting in place personality assessments to help people get together and understand how to interact, you know, that's one unfazed and then never average where.

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The concept is based on how I grew up. And when I said to those young guys that I was okay with getting to see I was more or less okay with being average like I can roll out the bed and get a c in probably any class like and I'm saying and that's not oh, hey, I'm super smart or whatever. It's just like certain like I understand certain things very well and without having to struggle I can get I can be average.

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For a long long long part of my life for a long time. That was okay. And then at some point in time, they click told me that there's a cost for accepting average right? There's there's a course so we talk about mindset a lot of times being able to be mindful of what that cost maybe for the decisions that we make. So for me, I don't Point sometimes and I'm thinking about that mindset. I'm saying to myself can I do?

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More can I be better? You know? What more can I bring to the table what that will allow me to consistently keep achieving right showing so that concept of never average is more or less to remind myself like hey, whatever you do just don't accept less than what you can do less than your yes is no longer accepted right? I think that's a trap that a lot of people fall into. I know it took me quite a while to figure out you know, yeah. I'm doing enough to get by and I got pretty good.

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Good grades in both high school and college but I never pushed myself to my potential. You know, I would I'd stay up late couple, you know couple nights before having to take a test and that's when I would do my study and I wasn't doing it consistently throughout, you know, we make a lot of excuses for that to you know, we played football. So that was like, okay, you know, that's my excuse. I got other things to do but you know, you gotta you can't you gotta own up to it at some point and say, you know, everybody else is doing other things too. And you know, you got to.

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Schedule your time accordingly. So yeah, and you know, you're your competition is not.

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A big enough excuse for your lack of effort, right? So when a lot of times when we think about it, it can be College. It can be high school. It can even be at your place of employment. A lot of times we judge ourselves on the people. We surround ourselves with or in some form or fashion the competition right. The reason that people look at Michael Jordan and they say he's the greatest to ever play basketball is because no matter who he was playing again. So no matter what we.

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He was saying he always wanted to be the best and not a not the best my little bit what the best by a lot. So when they say that Killer Instinct that Killer Instinct doesn't just have to deal with sports, but it can be with everything in your life. All right, because a lot of times if we settle for the competition and what we ultimately do we fall short of what we're supposed to be right that that piece of Mind Set for those who are listening is being able to actually self like hey.

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And I come am I competing to the level of those? I'm competing against or am I am I pushing myself to the to the edge, you know to consistently grow. Yeah. Yeah and speaking of Michael Jordan to I don't know if you've seen that the Netflix video The Last Dance on it's like a 10 series video on him. So I think yeah if you want to see intensity and you know focus on being the best watch that watch that series it's incredible.

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You know, there's a reason why he was the best definitely but um, all right. What so I guess you know, we know what we understand what success and growth mindset is but I think one of the most difficult things is always trying to cultivate it and keep building that into our lives and sustain it. So I guess where does where do you see success mine start starting from and how to how do we cultivate?

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And how do we develop it? Well, when I first first thought is speaking as far as doing trainings and workshops and motivational speaking to one phrase that we always had is successes personalized right? It's individualized it so it's about you. So the first thing is we talk about building that mindset of success. First thing we got to be able to do is decide what this success means to me.

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Right, what does it mean to me? And then that next level is what am I willing to sacrifice for this? Like what am I willing to persevere for this and a lot of times and we're looking to cultivate that mindset.

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So often the reason that people are willing to quit is not because it's difficult but a lot of times the level of difficulty is is so much greater than their one for Success. Right? Right, so that peace is because really being there able to say hey if I'm going to go down this alley and I know it's five guys down here, but this is the only way for me to go.

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Right if this is what you really want that you want that boat is like hey, I'm either going to beat them. They going to beat me but I'm going to make it down this Alleyway, but if it's not something that you want you're going to look and you want to say all of those guys are really big and Rick looks like he's the hardest punching guy in the world. You know what I don't think I want that anymore and it's not to say that something's wrong with that. But I always tell folks be able to make that decision before you put the time in right? So once once you get to the point that hey.

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I'm right here in front of them. There's no turning around now, right right. Once once you get down that road at some point in time some things are too late to quit some things. You just have to finish and just say I'll never do that again. I don't want that anymore, but I had to finish based upon the amount of work that I put at so that mindset and that ability to cultivate for me always starts with what's my goal. Like, what do I want to be? What do I want to accomplish? What do I want to do? And then from.

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Or I can start to put in place the steps that are necessary for me to take right and then from those steps the best thing about planning the route of blowing anything. Once you realize what those steps are to be successful. You also start to recognize what the steps are. What's going to be the Roblox that are going to block you right know and sometimes those roadblocks. They let us know that I don't want to do this like something like I would have a PhD right now if it wasn't for the fact that I know I got to write it this way.

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Stage II don't even care to write no paper and I'm like, maybe I'll go be a lawyer and maybe I don't have to write as many papers and maybe it'll be a bunch of oral aural stuff and my name will be Robert Felder Esquire, right? But I but I do have this one thing that if I do start I'm not going to stop like I once I go and take a class 2 class 3 classes and I spent my money. It's Off to the Races.

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Right. Yeah, they say I forgot I can't remember exactly who said the quote but they say, you know, if you're going to if you're going to do it go all the way, you know all the way with it and I think I think when you look at whatever your goal is, whether it's you know, it's a high goal or not people look at that goal and they a lot of times don't understand what they're going to have to sacrifice to get there. And then when they figure it out that hey this is you know, there's going to be a little harder than I thought.

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You know, they give up on themselves too early. I think the three feet from gold kind of mentality give up a little too early, but I know you work with you've worked with people all over the world and all over the country and spoken to a lot of people and seen a lot of different things and situations and you know, what our I guess when it comes to motivation and inspiration and gold gold shipment. What kind of commonalities do you see between most, you know the majority of the population.

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Like how do we all judge or treat motivation and and goal achievement? The thing that comes to mind is that even though we all know that things are going there's always going to be difficulties that we go through.

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Almost everybody. I need that. I coach that. I Mentor a lot of times the thing it for them. They didn't know it was going to hurt as much right like that that sucker punch up that sucker punch to the sort of jewelry. They okay. I've been punched before I've I've taken a punch to the gut, you know, I've taken an elbow to the head, but there's a different level of fierceness.

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From life right like when life hits you like you sometimes you could be on the brink of something awesome.

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And you can tell that the universe is working against you so you can just tell how things are moving where you're like. Hey, I'm about to go and start this brand new podcast. I'm going to go and change the world and the only place that sells a particular piece that I need to get this podcast up and running this Best Buy and then the pandemic happens and best buys clothes for four months. Right and you're just like how so so there will be things that you can't control that it's like man.

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How do I get past this and then there'll be other times when you're in the midst of everything that you want to get done and life hits you hard to the point that you lose your win that you're crying and sometimes what I also know is that unless.

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Someone runs into you and say can I help a lot of times we have a difficulty with asking for help. All right, so that mentality of I'm just going to get it by myself. It's just going to be me. Nobody gave me nothing that's rare and I'll be honest with you. Even the folks who say that I think if they really sat down they'll recognize how they may have been a person who helped them cross the street or the.

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There was a person who when they left their wallet with all of their ideas at the restaurant that that person didn't take the ideas didn't take the wallet. They held it and gave it back to him. There's always little things that sometimes we don't recognize the butterfly effects from those small things. So being okay and being open to asking for help is is something that we have to be open to especially when we're going through crisis.

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Right people have mental breakdowns because they go they experience whatever caused the crisis then the backlash from what they experience happens.

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They try to get through that for so long until they fall flat and cannot get up by themselves. And unless somebody comes in to find them. They can possibly lose it all. So I'm always saying always have people around you who are in your circle who care enough about to tell you the truth, but also love you enough to actually love on you when you need it. So having those folks around you who you were okay with being vulnerable.

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To remove and that's another piece when we talk about mental health and we talked about all of these aspects of mindset is being okay with being vulnerable enough to grow. Yeah right until so that's key. I'll be there. Yeah, I think you know, we're just going along with that a lot of people expect those people that they should be surrounding themselves to be their closest friends and family members and that's not always the case, you know, sometimes those.

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Or actually the people hindering you and holding you back and they're the ones who really don't want you to succeed as much as you want to so they say things to keep you, you know to protect you or keep you safe. And and that actually is holding you back. So, you know, they say you're the average of The Five People You spend the most time with so surround yourself with the best people who are pulling you up rather than keeping you in the same spot. So what all with with you know with I guess.

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In so many different people and situations and struggles. What I guess. What's the what's the most amazing transformation you've ever seen happen and you know, what was the story behind it?

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For me and I don't know if he'd ever he's ever heard me talk about this. There's a lot of folks who I've interacted with who I've seen some some awesome turnarounds.

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Whether it's my.

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People my family, but for me, the biggest turnaround is my dad right and when I say my dad as far as but also impactful, right? So when I was growing up, my dad went to jail when I was five rights of my I was 5 my sister would have been three know. She probably would have been to no older than three, so.

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When I when I sit and I think about it go to jail in and out of jail and ultimately he gets out when I'm around 17 when I'm on my way into my senior year of high school and.

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There's a there's a couple of moments where he changed my life for the better. That's how we end up playing football together. Like he said something to me where he was like, they sent me home and he said hey, if if you really want this, there's no reason to be sad. There's no reason to be mad. There's no reason to cry you just hung come home and you get to work.

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Right, you just get to work like whatever the obstacle is. If you really want this your job is to concrete not take not to soak in the fact that it's that it's difficult or that it didn't happen the way you wanted it to and I follow what he said. The second piece is where I.

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Trying to figure out if I'm going to get married when I'm going to get married and he was like listen, he told me and hopefully this isn't too crazy. But he said Rob he said listen, he said listen to me I could mess up a wet dream. That's what he told me. That's how you start this race as he could muster. He said he could mess up a wet dream. He said if you love her if if you love her then do right by her.

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Do what's in your power to have her feel what you feel for her? And sometimes that's just making a step to let other people know how you feel. But the real reason outside of those things that my dad did the reason that I say. My dad is because you come from someone who was in the drug game into prod robbing and stealing and using drugs to someone at one.

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Point in time. He was the chief of security for the largest halfway house in New Jersey, right? So it took about hundreds of thousands of people who were in this in the system and he was in charge of hiring people firing people. He was the second in command of this whole entire Place, huh, right, but then on top of that when when things change for.

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That particular place of employment. He never soaks. He said listen, whatever I got to do if I gotta go and drive it over. I'll drive it Uber. He said well, you know what? I'm gonna go out and I'm gonna learn how to drive a drive a truck 18-wheeler and then I'm going to figure out how do I get the money to change the things that I didn't do well in the past a few weeks ago. He said something to me that I didn't expect him to say he said.

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I'm really working now on Legacy, right? So I so when people hear this, I want you to hear like the transition transition from.

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I'm in the streets. I'm doing all different types of things I go to jail I go I get out of jail. I go back to jail a couple of different times. I come out. I changed my life. I work things don't go. Well Things fall through to I'm going to by any means necessary. I'm going to build a legacy when your kids he said well my grandkids and their great great his great grandkids come to his house or my house. He said he wants to be able to come in and see a picture of him and then he can.

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Hear about the stories of what he left behind for them and what he did for them. So like when I say Trent when you said when you asked me that question the thing that comes to mind is him because I'm like man.

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I know what it's like and I understood where he came from in the impact in the beginning what was negative to a transition to believing that you can have not only impact on me his son but generations to come right? That's a complete shift in mindset where it's like you're no longer. Just trying to get it for today you wanted for generations and you're doing everything you can over.

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Next 20 years to get there, right? Yeah, that's that's I mean that's a huge shift and that's an incredible story and you I think I from watching I watched the quite a few of your videos some of your speeches. I think you said you grew up in Jersey, right? Because I think the next part of that video that we had shown was you were talking about one of your buddies was getting shot at while you were right right near him. So that's I mean, that's yeah.

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Yeah, it's it's it's so the interesting thing is in this crazy because I learned this as I got a little bit older when you go through things at an earlier age when you experienced traumatic or when you experience things that maybe other people don't experience, right?

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If you're okay with still swimming.

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Through the tough Waters when you get to calm Waters everything it you just don't get excited. But you're like, oh my goodness. I didn't know it was like this. I am going to eat there's of your fuse to lose I refused to do so, so and here's the interesting thing. So you wouldn't have been at school at that point in time, but.

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The day it was a drive-by in the data to drive by happened was the day before I was supposed to go to my first Camp complete football. And so I was so when I tell people like the universe gave me a sign. It could have took me what it was like Hey if you think you shouldn't go I'm gonna give you a reason to leave right? And that's as high as my friend was running by and those guys are shooting at them in the.

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Our and I'm on the ground and I'm praying and I'm like man just let just let me make it out. Just let me and so for some, you know, they'll go through go through things in those experiences. Hold them back. Yeah, right my experience of jet fuel.

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My experience of jet fuel and it's and it's not a white or black thing. It's a like thing right? Because the one thing that I learned by the time I got to college and even over the past 15 years of being in more diverse places is that everybody goes to struggle. It doesn't matter what the struggle is. It doesn't matter in in let's just think about today's time. It doesn't matter if it's about police brutality. It doesn't matter if it's about racism.

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Sysm classism whatever the case may be we go through things now to what degree you experience. Those things is about the individual, right? What do you do with your turmoil besides where you go? Right? So for some it's pure baggage pure baggage and it will follow them not just now but for generations to come. Yep for others its jet fuel.

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And every time there's a new person born they go faster. So that's that's where on in my tree we will look into go.

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You know and that's a mindset. That's a completely and here's the crazy thing. Not just a mindset. But from where I'm from that is a complete Paradigm Shift. Yeah, right. That's a complete Paradigm Shift where it's like my worldview was no longer this group of people. Has it better than I do or this person is doing things or experienced things will have more access to things that I don't have my world view now is I'm.

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Sing through every door like it's going to be difficult for you to beat me when I'm at your doorstep. Like what I'm actually doing. Your best thing is to have a mole find your dragons, you know, find your alligators because once I'm at your doorstep is trouble like it's like so for me, it's just like when we compete in the same thing, we play football. I tell folks all the time and here in it. You may not have ever caught in that. You probably wouldn't have known this. I don't think he was at the school at this point in time, but.

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What?

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I told people I had a hard time catching onto the plays in the reason I had a hard time catching on to the place because I settle for average when I was younger. Right but the one thing I always told folks I said listen, I'm you just can't not work me like, I don't know how I'm going to outwork you you can know every play and I'm like depending on what system wherein if they could just show me the plays you you probably would never.

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Clay But ultimately for me it was more or less like hey.

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Whatever you have. I have to make everything that I have even better. Right. So if you know the place I may be half of what you have on the Playbook, but I'm going to beat you physically. I'm going to beat you mental Lee. I'm gonna outwork you I'm gonna outwork you I'm going to outwork you so there's no more of that. The glass is half empty type of thing. It's more or less. I drunk half of the glass and now I'm looking for more water.

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I'm looking for more water. Isn't that I'm telling you I was I grew up very very pessimistic when I was young. I I truly did believe that things would not work out or go the way that I needed to do needed them to to be successful in life. And now I'm to the point where it's like I am probably the only person who could stop me from being successful like that like that that like that is really how I look at it between me procrastinating and sometimes being lazy.

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It's just like hey, you know like when you're on your own and like it's hard very very difficult for people to stop me and and that's a different mindset of but it also comes with confidence of like I've seen I've been at the top and looked out and I know what it feels like when I'm like, oh man, I'm on top of my game. Oh, this is what it feels like in the energy around you changes when you get that feeling you get a taste of that.

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Yeah, it's hard not to want more. Yeah, very hard. Yeah, I think you know, I think this brings me into my next question about Keeping the Faith but I think so often people, you know, push and push and you know, they want this goal. They keep pushing and then they get to this point where it's like it's the Tipping Point really it's like I can either give up right now because things aren't working out or I can just push a little bit harder a little bit longer and you'll get over that little hump, but I think.

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And so often people don't realize it really is it's you that's in your own way. And you know, once you I guess once you hit that level where it's like you've been going so long you almost get fed up to the point where you're like, you know, what?

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I either got to I got to be more afraid that of not doing this and not not experiencing those possibilities that I could have in my life versus being afraid of the rejection or you know, experiencing criticism or things like that. And I know you know, I just I finally published the book. I don't know if you saw that but I've been trying to publish a book for like five six years. I've written 15 different books and like yeah halfway through them and then I'm just you know, I'm thinking to myself.

• 35:57 - 36:27
No, I don't want to take the criticism. I don't want people commenting on my YouTube videos all that stuff. I finally just got tired and said, you know what who cares, you know, there's haters. There's haters everywhere doesn't matter. You can't please everybody and I finally got to a point where I was just so sick of being nervous about it that I just did it, you know, and if it's not perfect it's not perfect. But awesome. I did it and that gives me you know that confidence that you're talking about which is so hard to build it gives you the confidence to go on and do something else. That's out.

• 36:27 - 36:57
Outside of your comfort zone to yeah, you know definitely and you know, what's interesting I think sometimes and not and I have a book that's been in the works for a long time. And then I saw the second one and then I was like, okay, I got to finish the first in the craziest thing about confidence confidence comes to doing those right just think like when we confidence comes to action in the one thing that I would say, I started like the stretching program and the person that I was listening to he said, hey you're going to do the stretch.

• 36:58 - 37:09
For five minutes, you can do it up to 5 minutes. He said every minute that goes by you're going to hear a ding. You're going to have a bell go off. He said you can stop at any point in time.

• 37:11 - 37:12
At the Bell.

• 37:13 - 37:21
Right. So why do I bring that up? A lot of times we work on stuff? We work on things.

• 37:22 - 37:52
But we quit in between. Yeah, right. There's a difference between hey, I'm working hard. I'm doing the book and maybe you might not finish it. I'll finish the chapter right? Because a lot of times the ending on something that's supposed to be ended. It's sometimes when we fall short at like I am falling short in the book that I haven't finished now because I didn't finish the last chapter.

• 37:52 - 38:21
Like every time no matter if you start a slow down finish the piece that you're working on like who quits in the middle of the race, right? And for me, I went out and I was talking to some CEOs at the YMCA up in Rhode Island. I believe it was a year or two ago and came up with this thought where because they were talking about how the younger generation they quit in they don't keep working in the thing that I said to him. I said one.

• 38:22 - 38:52
You have to understand the people who you work with and who you're bringing in so much more than you did in the past this idea that someone supposed to wait for you to draw a picture for them pull the Roses up make the sun sign for them is no longer the generation that you have like they're looking to try and figure out how do they get what they get and keep it moving. I said, there's a difference between a marathon and the Sprint.

• 38:53 - 39:10
Yeah, right all relation in Essen relationships. That's in business. That's when you're working with employees. That's what business ventures being able to recognize like. Hey this person who I hired who I may have a relationship I can already tell.

• 39:11 - 39:22
That this is a Sprint. Right? Right. This is this is a hundred meter sprint, which means we're probably going to have a great time or for short duration.

• 39:24 - 39:30
But then is going to be people who you run into who both of you will know like hey.

• 39:32 - 39:41
This might be it. Yeah, right and in the marathon, it may not be the last stop for this person's career.

• 39:42 - 40:09
But the marathon has Tad so much of an impact on that person's career that you always play a part in their life right that you always play a part in their life. So when I'm talking and I'm thinking and I'm working with people I'm saying so I'm like, hey, where does this fit in your life? Where does this fit in the race of your life? Right and don't get so caught up with everyone else run your race.

• 40:10 - 40:38
Figure out what race you want to run for each part or each thing that you're doing, you know, maybe you have a goal and you're going to say hey I'm going to do 250 episodes of my podcast that's guaranteed. I'm going to do 250 no matter what before but inside and then you probably yourself a time frame inside of three years. I'm going to do a hunt 250.

• 40:39 - 41:08
Right and maybe you might stop for a week. You might stop for to but you know, you've already given yourself a goal. This is the Sprint that I'm going to do. But this podcast plays a larger part of the marathon. Right? Right. So we're in whatever that is. So being able to process those pieces helps us maintain the faith knowing when I'm okay with stopping right? I read a book by Seth Godin and he talks about the dip. I don't know if you've heard of that one.

• 41:09 - 41:23
And he talks about you have your cul-de-sacs and you have your dead ends. He said everyone talks about how his losers only losers quit and he said no winners know when to quit.

• 41:25 - 41:55
Yeah winners know when to quit right when you recognize as something is a dead end that there is no more going forward for you that mean there's no more of a reason. There's no reason for you to keep going for it. You've gotten everything that you needed from that now to be able to recognize you got all of those things that mean that you have to been doing your homework. You have the then well connected with what you're doing. And that's the piece that a lot of us don't take into consideration. We don't.

• 41:55 - 42:01
A deep dive into our self as well as the things that we say. We're passionate about enough.

• 42:02 - 42:32
Yeah, I think that's a that's a huge key is, you know, they say most people say they want something but they're not willing to do the little the little things that it takes to really get to that point and the think that's what separates, you know, the average person from the people who are deemed the world's best or the greatest, you know, they go those people paid attention to the little details and did the things that nobody else was doing to get to that point.

• 42:34 - 43:02
Yeah, I think that's a really good point. But all right. Well, I mean, I think that pretty much covers everything. I was looking to go over with you you have anything else then he last or I guess a strategies that would be you know, what are some strategies that can get people started to look like baby steps that people can start implementing a daily basis to build store on set.

• 43:03 - 43:04
I'll give you a couple of pieces.

• 43:08 - 43:20
Who's your starting five and when I mean starting five if we were playing basketball? Who's the other for that's on the court with you? Who are those people when you have ideas?

• 43:22 - 43:50
They're not the people when you call them. They say no the other people that say it may be difficult. But right where your butt and type of people. Yeah, right, who are those people that you have on your team now granted you can have one skeptic, but you can't have a whole team full of Skeptics where when you call them. They shoot down everything that you say on Instagram the other day. I posted that on.

• 43:51 - 44:01
Don't let Common Sense stop you from doing something great something along those lines. I'm paraphrasing but a lot of times you'll have people in your circle.

• 44:02 - 44:16
That they're so damn smart that they'll stop the greatest ideas that you have. Yeah, right because a lot of times when you're ridiculously smart you see all of the sharks in the water.

• 44:17 - 44:22
Yeah, sometimes you need somebody who they might not have all of vision.

• 44:24 - 44:53
That you have they might not be able to see all of the Sharks, but they know how to find a path to the other side. Yeah. So for me if we're talking about strategies figure out who are those people who you need to have around you who are going to say? Yes, you can and then me do you have have one person who was like, I'm not sure about that and then you can weigh the options to figure it out.

• 44:53 - 45:08
But I would also say make sure whoever in a skeptical person is make sure you call them first or second. Don't call them last don't call them last because they'll blow up everything no blow up everything but figure out who you want around you. So if you think about what I'm really saying is.

• 45:10 - 45:25
Figure out who's going to help you early like have that mindset in early, right? Nobody can make you work hard, but they can make help you work smarter, right? Nobody can make you work hard, but they can make you work smarter.

• 45:26 - 45:34
So some say that if people are that will compliment you basically, you know, my your skill sets and your mindset and okay, perfect. Yep.

• 45:36 - 45:36
That's key.

• 45:39 - 46:03
All right, any any other baby steps as far as building the mindset and kind of I guess like do would you suggest daily routines or like the meditation or so meditation is key that that that's definitely something that I say being able to become one with yourself is very key right because a lot of our problems come from.

• 46:05 - 46:34
We fall short on who we think we are let alone being able to get to who we really are. Right? So so take that deep dive and don't be afraid to talk to yourself. Right and we're talking about building out a success mindset a big part of it is going to be the self talk that you have. Yeah, right A lot of times people run away and they think they got to go and find so now I'm going on both ends, right you want your team, but you.

• 46:34 - 46:43
Also have to be comfortable enough to talk to yourself about where you're going. Right right that mindset that hey.

• 46:44 - 47:04
Let me just sit down and figure out where do I want to go? What do I want to be? What do I want to what do I want to do? And how hard do I have to work at those things? You know, so and then another piece on the mindset Avenue of building out those components is also I would definitely say.

• 47:09 - 47:36
Be open to helping more people because in helping people other people you also find out more about yourself. Yeah, right a so a lot of times people have that mindset that I'm not concerned. I do not care about anyone else. But ultimately you care about someone else's also to care about yourself. Right? Right and also helps you get the practice that you need in regards to recognizing issues.

• 47:37 - 47:47
Right when you do enough work with other people you'll recognize when you're depressed. Like you'll recognize when you're on your way to being depressed.

• 47:48 - 48:07
So a large part of those things is be open to having your door open for other people, right? You know those component that component is key. Like I talked to a lot of people and on a days with things that aren't going my way and I'm feeling and I'm feeling down and I'm like man.

• 48:08 - 48:33
I've seen this before please such and such and such went through this that's very very similar. You know, how do we work together to get him to write sometimes you can't get to other people you only have yourself. Yeah, so so being able to sit back and really recognize that you can be a blessing and you can be a leg up to someone else.

• 48:34 - 48:37
Which ultimately helps you be a leg up for yourself, right?

• 48:38 - 48:40
Yeah, I think I forgot who it was.

• 48:42 - 49:12
Can't remember who said it but they put it in in such a you know, what it's almost an elegant way of saying it but you know the most selfish thing you can do is be selfless, you know by helping other people naturally, you know, if you help somebody they want to help you back, you know, everybody does nobody wants to feel like there's something being held over them or they owe somebody a debt they want to they want to pay you back somehow when they can and I think that was a huge key thing that I took away from.

• 49:14 - 49:41
That mindset motivator and there's a really good book on that to for business entrepreneurs called the go-giver which talks about you know, giving away your best stuff to people buy because a lot of people naturally, you know, they might be interested or want to learn how to do it. But you know as we're talking about this whole time it's tough to want to do something unless you want to you know, sacrifice the things it's going to take to do it.

• 49:42 - 50:06
And if you're you know, if you're a professional or you're really good at something you can tell everybody how you do it. But who's going to actually take the time the effort and make those sacrifices to actually get good at it enough to where it's not worth you doing it for them. So by giving people your secrets they come back to you naturally and and they'll look at you as that kind of authority figure but.

• 50:08 - 50:09
Perfect Point. Yep.

• 50:11 - 50:40
All right, since yeah, well, I mean, I think I think we covered all the bases here in mindset. I think this is going to be a really great great episode to launch the series and get people thinking about you know, the growth mindset and help them help them kind of get some steps Implement in their life. Awesome. Awesome. Yeah. I'm excited. I'm excited for you and I look I can't look I can't wait to see the other episodes and are coming up very soon. Yeah. No, I appreciate your time. And I appreciate you taking the time.

• 50:41 - 51:11
You know, we spent a decent amount of time today on this episode and I think it's going to help a lot of people watch it. And you know, I hope I did want to throw up your your website on the screen too. So I'm going to I'm going to do that right now. You can go to Felder works.com. That's just one of his websites. If you check out check out Rob's Instagram. He has a link in his profile that will actually.

• 51:11 - 51:40
Really take you to kind of like a link tree. It'll show you all the different links for you know, what the above above average was one of them and we have a couple other sites right a couple of other pieces that lets you follow me on different social media platforms as well as different websites that I may be involved with. Okay? All right. Well, like I said Rob I really appreciate you you sharing sharing your time with us and your advice and I hope you enjoy the show.

• 51:41 - 51:47
It comes out awesome. I'm looking forward to when it thanks for having. Yeah. All right. Bye. All right.